What has God’s wisdom planned for his people? John Piper opens 1 Corinthians 2:6–13 to show that God ordained their glory before the ages.

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A well-cooked meal and a newborn baby fill our hearts with different delights. Pastor John explains how God’s gifts offer us a multicolored experience of joy.

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We live in a chronically noncommittal society. No wonder, then, that this has been dubbed the age of anxiety. Surely, covenant relationships aren’t the only cure, but it might surprise us how much stability of soul comes from deep, reliable, unflighty fellowship.

Today, most of the mainstream societal influences in your life implicitly or explicitly cater to your personal sense of freedom. Change your mind, opt out, you do you. No need to cut ties if you don’t have them.

Many of the freedoms we enjoy in late modern life are truly precious gifts — some even generally conducive to true Christianity. But others subtly promote a false vision of self and all reality; they pretend (and we’re often happy to pretend along with them) that our autonomous selves are the end-all-be-all. I am the given; others should cater to me. My immediate desires are fixed; the world around me should adjust accordingly.

Covenant-Making God

Into this pit of quicksand enters the covenant-making God. That you are a creature, who did not make yourself, but was made (and is upheld) by the Creator, is bracing enough. Add to that, he’s not just God but a God who makes covenants.

God made a covenant with the first man in the garden before sin entered the world and dwelled in the human soul. God made a covenant with a moon-worshiper named Abraham and promised to make a nation out of him. God made a covenant with that nation of chosen people once he had delivered them safely from slavery. And this covenant was not simply with him vertically but included thick horizontal commitments to fellow humans for life together under God.

Today, we orient in and under Christ through the new covenant. From it follow horizontal commitments to each other, promises worked out, inevitably, among real people in our own locale, that is, in local churches.

The wisdom and power of local church “membership” (or whatever you call it) rests not on a single proof text or two. Rather, the nature of human relationships in the world God made, the arc of redemptive history toward a new-covenant people not of ethnic birth but delivered from sin and death by new birth, the good limits of creaturely finitude particularized in various places around the world — all these lead inexorably to “membership,” specific people committed to one another in a specific place. No matter what you call it, what’s vital is the concept of real belonging and mutual allegiance.

My Sheep?

In a recent essay, Massachusetts pastor Stephen Witmer defines “church membership” as

a clear and continuing mutual commitment between an individual Christian and a local church, in which the church endorses the member’s profession and shepherds the member’s soul, and the member submits to the church’s authority and shares in the church’s life.

The implicit commitment between churches and their duly appointed leaders in the New Testament provides a compelling line of evidence for “membership.”

Hebrews refers to Christians having their own local leaders, who keep watch over their souls (Hebrews 13:17). The benefits here are mutual and manifold. Humble Christians want leaders who know them in their local setting and watch over their souls. And good leaders, to do their work, need to know whom they will give account for — who’s in and who’s out.

The apostle Paul addresses the local leaders in Ephesus, saying, “Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers” (Acts 20:28). To give the flock their careful attention and watch out for their souls, shepherds need to know who’s in the flock and who’s not.

In the same way, the apostle Peter tells leaders in Rome to “shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight . . . not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock” (1 Peter 5:2–3). Again, shepherds need to know which sheep are “in their charge” and belong to their flock, not another.

Moreover, the New Testament abounds with commands we cannot fulfill without some real sense of belonging to a particular local church and its pastors. Can you appropriately esteem your leaders (1 Thessalonians 5:12–13), honor them (1 Timothy 5:17), and have a healthy disposition that yields to their leading (Hebrews 13:17) without identifying yourself with them and submitting to the structure of belonging that allows them to know and care well for those in their charge?

For Your Good and Joy

Witmer’s definition above appeals to two leading benefits for every Christian: “the church endorses the member’s profession and shepherds the member’s soul.” It is naive, at best, to think these two benefits are anything less than dear beyond words. Amid the unruly waves of sin and sickness, disease and death, spiritual growth and puzzling backslides, the tangible, embodied endorsement of your profession of faith in Jesus by Bible-believing, trustworthy pastors, along with the whole congregation, can be an anchor for the soul. Commitment can be a means of precious assurance.

If you keep attending a church without covenanting, what do you lose? For one, you forfeit the deep and enduring joys of being the church to others and having others be the church to you. In church membership, we pledge to “be the church” to each other. This has always been vital, but it is becoming especially so in our mobile and transitory society.

Without a local-church covenant, you lose the assurance that someone will have your back when life gets tough, when you’re weary, hurting, doubting. In church membership, we do not covenant “till death do us part,” like marriage, but we do pledge to be there for each other in thick and thin.

It’s easy to be the church when life is easy — but much harder when life gets hard. And so we make promises to each other, covenant commitments, to be the church to each other not just when it’s convenient and comfortable, but when we face friction and challenges — for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish one local bride of Christ. And so we imitate Christ not in theory but in real local church practice.

Safety in the Ship

From the early days, Christians have often seen the church as a boat, afloat on the waves of the present age, an ark to save us from drowning in the swirling seas and storms that come at us. In this world, winds suddenly shift. Unexpected tempests arise with stunning fierceness. The boat rocks and creaks. We might not see the sun for days on end.

In such times, we have our unseen Lord above and our visible, tangible fellow sailors alongside. Christ has appointed our fellows as his hands for holding us fast, his mouth for telling us truth, his feet for springing to our aid as the ship tilts. In church membership, we covenant to be the church to each other on the best days and worst ones. Ironically, the kind of commitment an anxious generation scoffs at provides precisely the safety it so desperately longs for.

God changed the heart of a young “prince of preachers” all with a single, simple verse: Look to Jesus and live.

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How did Paul see his role as the first preacher a church might hear? He laid the groundwork for generations of faithful preaching.

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As we were finishing a counseling session, Jill looked at me with concern, her eyebrows furrowed. “You got distracted,” she bluntly stated.

Unfortunately, Jill was right. Just outside my workspace, several pastors gathered in the church office lobby, talking and laughing. I’d gotten sidetracked by the commotion. About 70 percent of me was attending to Jill, but 30 percent of my headspace had shifted to the lobby: What are they doing? What’s so funny?

We live in a distractible culture. Between YouTube shorts and checking our email inboxes every hour, our minds wander quickly. Staying focused is a skill few truly master. But it’s essential if we’re going to care well for God’s people.

Whether formally or informally, counseling another soul is a distinct privilege. Yet, too often, mistakes plague our conversations. Fortunately, getting distracted is one of several common mistakes that are correctable. After Jill’s jarring comment, I closed the window blinds (simple fix), talked to the staff about keeping the commotion down (another simple fix), recommitted to staying focused (possible, though it would be work), and prayed the Lord would renew my love for his sheep.

What counseling mistakes are you prone to make? Take a quick check.

Mistake 1: Fear of Man

Charlotte shares about her struggles with her job. She dislikes her boss, and she’s weary of her work. Unfortunately, she often responds to her difficulties with sinful choices. This time, she lied to her boss to get out of an assignment.

You sympathize with her frustrations but feel convinced you’ve got to speak up about her lying. Charlotte’s a Christian, and Scripture makes clear that because God never lies, Christ’s followers shouldn’t either (Colossians 3:9–10; Titus 1:2).

Yet you hesitate. You know Charlotte will get angry, and your fears kick in. Why bother bringing it up? Lying is between her and God. Right now, she needs a friend. But you know if you don’t say something, Charlotte will eventually lie to her boss again. What should you do?

Repent of your fear that causes you to avoid a difficult word. Confess your worry about speaking up to the Lord (Psalm 34:4).

If you struggle with people-pleasing, then saying a difficult word will feel painful. Reframe your situation by putting the fear of God at the center of your thinking (Proverbs 29:25; Luke 12:4–5). If we fear God more than Charlotte, we won’t let Charlotte’s potential anger get in the way.

My friend Jonathan Leeman calls the helper in this situation a “sin-absorber.” A true friend willingly absorbs the cost of another person’s sin for the sake of honoring Christ. Would you be willing to absorb Charlotte’s anger if it helps her address her lie?

Mistake 2: Assumed Insight

Angela and John have been married for 31 years. Sometimes John gets frustrated with Angela because she assumes what he’s thinking. “I know I’m not supposed to assume,” Angela would think, “but we’ve been together for a long time.” The more familiar you are with someone, the more you’re likely to get in trouble. Familiarity breeds assumptions. Think about your last conflict. How many assumptions did you make? Probably a few.

Assumptions can create problems. Sometimes our assumptions are true, but often they’re not.

If you’re prone to making assumptions, here’s how to stay away from trouble: Don’t overestimate your ability to size up a situation. Pride makes you think, “I know what’s going on.” Humility tells you, “Ask God for wisdom.” The humble recognize they’re not as smart as they think and must depend on the Lord for insight (James 1:5).

After you’ve asked the Lord for help, test your assumptions. Don’t tolerate any of them. Check the validity of your assumptions by asking thoughtful, careful, and loving questions. Genuine curiosity will lead you to ask rather than assume. At the encouragement of a friend, Angela asked more questions during marital conflict, and that built more understanding between her and John. The apostle Paul tells us that abounding love is marked by “knowledge and all discernment” (Philippians 1:9).

Mistake 3: A Misplaced Harsh Tone

Tony and Patricia are talking through a difficult topic, and Tony starts getting agitated. You can hear his tone getting louder. His anger boils below the surface, and it’s showing itself in his frustrated tone.

When we communicate, how we say things matters, not just what we say. Did you know that Scripture speaks to our tone? “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). And “a gentle tongue is a tree of life” (Proverbs 15:4). God commends a soft and gentle word rather than a harsh or belittling tone. Patricia’s gentle tone and words helped to defuse Tony’s anger.

Granted, there are times for a serious, stern demeanor, as when you’re warning a believer who lives in sexual sin or a Christian husband who abandons his marriage. Soft words are not a good fit for such moments (Proverbs 25:11). But most of life doesn’t require a stern tone. Usually, a gentle and softer approach will be more effective in getting your message across.

Mistake 4: Hasty Speech

If we look at our typical daily conversations, it’s probably embarrassing to admit how often we speak up before we’ve truly listened. Sometimes, we half listen — like in a conflict when we’re thinking of a response even before the other person’s done speaking. Or, in our impatience, we just cut our friend off and jump in while he or she is in the middle of a sentence. Solomon says fools don’t listen or take any pleasure in understanding but only in expressing their opinion (Proverbs 18:2, 13). A fool will act impulsively and be hasty with his words (Proverbs 29:20).

What can we do? We can grow in discipline to shut our mouths and listen more, but fleshly restraint only lasts so long before we’re back to our old habits.

The Spirit can grow our patience to wait and not speak. Do you ever ask the Lord to grow your humility? Christlike humility increases your willingness to put others’ interests ahead of your own (Philippians 2:3–4). It reorients your heart away from what you think is so important to say, and it grows in you a deeper concern for others. It changes your outlook on conversations.

Mistake 5: Poor Personal Boundaries

My friend Carol was discipling a troubled young lady named Karen. Carol left for a marriage retreat with her husband, Ron, but Karen texted her throughout the retreat. After Karen’s seventh text, Ron advised Carol, “Ignore the texts, turn off the phone, and don’t look at it again until our retreat is done.” But after the tenth text, Carol still responded.

Often, weaker believers have a hard time respecting boundaries. And because Christians (and counselors especially) have merciful dispositions and bleeding hearts, we can establish poor boundaries. Technology makes things worse: We’re accessible anywhere in the world at any time.

If you’re a professional counselor, it’s likely difficult to contain your counseling to work hours. Troubled people will reach out after you’ve left the office. Even if you don’t counsel professionally, you may find others taking advantage of your graciousness. But it’s not just their fault, is it? Far too many of us are like Carol: We don’t maintain healthy boundaries. Our bleeding hearts win out over the discipline of ignoring our phones and focusing on our families. Do you check your phone or do ministry work when your kids or spouse need your attention?

Ask your spouse and a mentor for their input on a healthy boundary between your counseling and your family life. Carefully select a boundary (like “No ministry calls after 6:00pm unless it’s a true emergency”). Then tell a friend or two about your boundary and ask them to hold you accountable. If we try to do this on our own, we often fail. Pray that the Spirit might work in you. We need help to maintain healthy boundaries.

God’s Grace for Our Mistakes

As people fallen in sin, we will make mistakes, even in our efforts to help others. But by God’s grace and through the Spirit’s daily work, we’re conformed more and more into the image of Jesus, reflecting a more loving, hopeful, kind, patient, and thoughtful disposition to our friends and fellow church members (Romans 8:29). Jesus is the Wonderful Counselor (Isaiah 9:6). Our goal is to look more like him.

Wise counselors — both formal and informal — are a gift to God’s church. We want to be good stewards of this privilege of counseling souls. May our good Lord help us to make fewer mistakes, trust in Christ, and honor him in everything we do.

What blinds us to God’s wisdom in Christ? John Piper opens 1 Corinthians 2:6–13 to show how craving power and acclaim keeps us from seeing Jesus as the Lord of glory.

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What marks Christians attuned to cross-cultural missions? They may not serve as full-time missionaries, but they embrace Great Commission responsibilities. The history of missions reveals little-known senders who used their vocations for strategic gospel advance around the world. Captain Benjamin Wickes (1746–1830) was one such man.

‘Old Captain Wickes’

We meet this early American captain of a merchant vessel unexpectedly at a prayer meeting in 1806. The missionaries in Serampore, India, had gathered to send Henry Martyn to a station on the Ganges River where he would begin his work of translation and evangelism. Martyn recorded that they “met at my pagoda this evening for the purpose of commending me to the grace of God before my departure. My soul never before had such divine enjoyment” (The Letters of Henry Martyn, 194).

I would love to have been there. The meeting included both Baptist missionaries — William Carey, Joshua Marshman, and William Ward — as well as evangelical Anglicans David Brown, Daniel Corrie, and Henry Martyn. It represented a substantial collaboration between these earliest English missionaries for the advance of the gospel in India. Since much of India was controlled by the British East India Company, only Anglican missionaries received official recognition and freedom to travel. Even they, however, could pursue missionary work only when not employed in chaplaincy duties to English people residing in India. Amid such challenges, this prayer meeting of gathered co-laborers was a high point for Martyn and a moment he remembered fondly.

To the list of those present, Martyn added “old Captain Wickes.” He mentioned him again in another letter as “the good old Captain Wickes, who has brought out so many missionaries to India” (Letters, 178).

But who was this old American captain so well loved by the English missionaries in India?

Missionaries as Risky Passengers

Captain Wickes was born to a seafaring family in Maryland in 1746. His older brother, Captain Lambert Wickes, fought and died at sea during the American War for Independence. Benjamin first entered the missionary record in 1799, when the Baptist missionaries Joshua Marshman and William Ward sought passage to India from London. The situation was sensitive. The East India Company had forbidden full-time missionaries from entering, so no English ship would give Marshman and Ward passage. Carey had established his home in the Danish port of Serampore, not far from Calcutta, but no Danish ships were available.

Wickes’s American ship, however, could take the risk of transporting missionaries. When he heard about the situation, Wickes wrote to Baptist leader Andrew Fuller, saying that “he had long cherished the hope of being privileged to convey the messengers of the Gospel to the heathen, and that his fondest wish was about to be gratified” (The Life and Times of Carey, Marshman, and Ward, 110).

The privilege came with difficulties. Although American ships were regularly received in East India Company ports, the presence of missionaries complicated their arrival. When Wickes arrived in Calcutta with Marshman and Ward, East India Company officials refused him permission to sail home unless he took the missionaries with him. By God’s grace, Wickes convinced the authorities of the missionaries’ good intentions. When similar circumstances occurred in 1806, he persuaded officials that detaining his American ship might cause an international incident. Each voyage involved protracted negotiations that certainly distracted from his primary trading business.

Yet Wickes’s service proved invaluable. Every time the missionaries mentioned him, they affirmed their unbridled thanks for his efforts. William Carey wrote about him in 1805, “I, in common with my dear brethren and sisters here, feel much pleasure in hearing of the safe return to you of our much beloved brother in Christ, Capt. Wickes” (Evangelical Intelligencer, 1:201). Marshman and Ward called him “the beloved commander of the [ship] Criterion” (The Life and Times, 214). And Martyn fondly referred to him as “good old Captain Wickes.”

Captain Benjamin Wickes used his position as a ship captain to bring missionaries to India at great potential cost to himself and his business. He serves as a model for us of a committed missionary sender.

Joining in the Journey

I doubt anyone outside their little circle took much interest in that prayer meeting in Serampore in 1806. But it affected and energized Henry Martyn for years to come. It signaled ministry partnership and progress for gospel witness in India. And at age sixty, Captain Wickes made a point of being there.

No doubt he spent the majority of his life working as a sailor and captain. The four-to-six-month voyages from the United States to Asia occupied his time and energy. And yet, from the few instances we know, he lived for more than the safe passage of people and cargo from one side of the world to another. His “fondest wish was about to be gratified” when he took the chance of carrying missionaries to India. Captain Wickes understood participation in the Great Commission as his ultimate task. He took risks and made personal sacrifices to help determined missionaries find a place for ministry.

Missiologist Andrew Walls proposed that, historically, missionary movements needed to meet three conditions for sustainability: (1) an available and eager group of people to go, (2) an organization to send them, and (3) long-term access to a place for ministry. In his own small way, Captain Wickes helped open the door for long-term access. He was ready and willing when Marshman and Ward needed a ship in 1799. He returned to Calcutta several times despite the restrictions on carrying missionaries. He, a Presbyterian, took the risk of delivering more Baptist missionaries in 1806. He then spent four months in Calcutta for his troubles, advocating to free his ship from the British East India Company and helping to see the missionaries safely settled.

When we speak about missionary senders, we mean those advocates, partners, supporters, and friends who remain in their own culture while their heart extends out toward the work of cross-cultural witness. A sender aches and desires to participate concretely in gospel ministry and looks for ways to “send [missionaries] on their journey in a manner worthy of God” (3 John 6). In Captain Wickes, we see how sending work takes more than just “thoughts and prayers.” For him, it meant facilitating their journey by giving them physical passage on his ship.

Missionary Senders Today

What might this type of sending look like today? What project or task of Great Commission significance are you waiting for, eager for, and hoping to take part in? Financial generosity often provides clear opportunities. Generous donors hear about a need they’d love to meet and respond in kind. For example, when I asked a friend to help a Vietnamese church complete their project to install air conditioners, he responded with eagerness. The sender says, “I’ve waited my whole life to help local Christians in another culture!”

But there may be ways to participate in cross-cultural ministry that more closely imitate Captain Wickes. He used his primary vocation to serve the gospel. Today, those with business experience might offer their expertise as consultants. One group invites Christian businesspeople to share insights to a study group of business owners in another country. The meetings provide consulting but also introduce local leaders to intentional Christian professionals.

Many vocations today include international travel. Such trips present opportunities to fellowship with churches in other cultures, perhaps with an English-speaking international church in a global city or, through contact with cross-cultural workers, with a group of local believers. Regular visits of mature Christians who want to see and experience Christian fellowship in another culture both encourage the local church and provide a new look on God’s work around the world.

A passion to be among God’s people as they worship in a place with little to no Christian witness may also provide the chance to participate in crucial kingdom moments. Captain Wickes was present at that prayer meeting because he took a chance carrying missionaries on his ship and sought out the fellowship of believers in another country.

Missionary senders recognize gospel opportunities. Like Captain Wickes, we can respond to missionary needs as the fulfillment of a “long cherished hope” to be used by God for strategic cross-cultural gospel advance. And, holding onto that hope, we can seek out opportunities to gratify our “fondest wish.”

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